Definitions of ‘H’ Words

(n) A musical genre or element known for destroying those it comes in contact with from the inside out.

(n) The organ women use to gauge the worth of a partner, comparable to the penis in men.

(adj) An orthodox sinner.

(v) Slang term derived from “hand job,” which is itself a slang term for masturbating a man to orgasm, generally regarded as the minimum criteria for earning a fourth date.

A writ by which a man may be taken out of jail when confined for the wrong crime.

n. A shackle for the free.

(n) A loud, heavy motorcycle or girlfriend one should not climb on top of without a helmet.

(n) Chain of overpriced eateries around the world wherein travelers can enjoy American food and purchase commemorative T-shirts while meeting interesting local prostitutes.

(adj) Depression period in the United States occurring in the late 80s lamented by the absence of fashion and expiration of cocaine’s popularity.

(n) Once a word indicating a cripple or the sum of their disabilities until the political correctness movement necessitated the annual re-labeling of this condition so no one would ever have any idea whatsoever what it is they’re actually discussing. 2. A number in golf of bowling used to make no-talent hacks competitive.

(n) A neighborhood with no real neighbors to speak of, unless you count all the druggies and prostitutes who keep trying to pry the bars off your windows, which I certainly do.

(adj) Term used within internet dating communities to mean “morbidly obese.”