adj. Inaccessible to the truth as it is manifest in the splendor and stress of our advocacy.
The popular type and exponent of obstinacy is the mule, a most intelligent animal.
Definitions of ‘O’ Words
Obstinate
Pre-hereafter Omniverse
A phrase meaning a place that is “here” at a time that is not in the hereafter, but rather at a time that is approximately “now”. For example, you are reading this definition from within the pre-hereafter omniverse because you are reading it within the omniverse at a time before the hereafter, unless of course you are not, in which case you will most certainly be aware of it and not require a definition to know this truth, even though if you are not, you still may not be entirely certain.
Although critics pan the “here” as much as they do the “now”, the here and now are generally regarded as the best time and place to live by those who can not conceive what awaits them in other places, specifically amongst those who cannot conceive a time more than ten million years removed from their own. These same critics, however, are widely accepted as rabble-rousing dick faces, so their negative opinions in terms of the pre-hereafter omniverse are generally ignored entirely. After all, they are not real people in the traditionally accepted sense, they are critics.
Organization
(n) A group, typically disorganized to the very brink of failure, amassed expressly for the purpose of diminishing service, support, productivity and profits.
Oath
n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.
Oblivion
n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame’s eternal dumping ground. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.
Ouchie
1. (n) A wee little flesh wound, treated with hugs, kisses and Band-aids.
One
1. (n) A limit to how much of something a person is allowed. 2. (n) The first of three numbers in a request for behavior modification; i.e., “Give that back to your brother or you’re in big trouble, mister! One! Two! Three!” 3. (n) An age signifying a transition from the “terrifying zeros.” 4. (n) Representative number of people or things matching a single finger often suggested in negotiation.
Origami
(n) The ancient Japanese art of folding paper into angular, unrepresentative cranes. 2. Floppy, folding devices labeled with degrading insults flippity-flapped according to numbers, words, or colors by teenage girls who hate life and boys as much as these same boys are about to love date and/or torment.
Observatory
n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.
Octofoot
1. (n) A squid-like creature commonly found in aquariums, Asian Grocers and my playpen, sometimes in the frying pan but never on my plate. Similar to an octopus, but without tennis shoes, I think.
Oblivious
(adj) Political state enjoyed by contented citizens and non-voters.
Office Manager
Office Manager: (n) An ingloriously glorified secretary with an office, a title and a huge chip on her shoulder caused by being no more than a secretary with a fancy title SEE ALSO: MANAGER, SECRETARY